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Top Ten Reasons to Shop at the Mega Box Stores...

1.  They validate what your grandpa always said, "Sonny, personal professional service is dead."

2.  Wandering the aisles looking for sales staff reminds you of the corn maze you went on last October.

3.  The beep of the forklift is relaxing - while you wait 30 minutes for them to open up the aisle you want.

4.  The samples you have to buy make great family heirlooms.

5.  You take comfort in always getting the same answer to your question, "Uuh - I don't know, the guy in plumbing might."

6.  The exercise is great.  You get a "mile a trip" from the parking lot to the front door and back.

7.  Their wide selection of two colors is sooo… stimulating and it allows you to look just like the Jones.

8.  Special order items are really special because they come on the slow boat from China and it always requires a 2nd mortgage to pay for them.

9.  Their cheap, discounted tile seconds are just like the hand-me-down clothes you got as a kid; their junk, they're never your color, and they fit just about as well.

10.  Their pretty little company vests make such a fashion statement.